I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it because I queefed?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
True college students do jello shots in the library
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
