can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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