i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
