I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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