it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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