The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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