you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
