definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
