Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
