Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
