their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
