I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
