I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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