nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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