My brain says no but my pants say off.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
