The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
