Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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