Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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