hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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