It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
