If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
