At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Terrible idea I love it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
