You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
