I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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