Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
