You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
