he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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