dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
