I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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