dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
