okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come see our sink grown plant.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
