was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
