So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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