I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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