Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
