Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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