Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
