Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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