I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
