forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
