doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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