I'm eating all of the evidence.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
