the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
