after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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