I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
