I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This baby is an asshole
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
my poor anus
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
