i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
