Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize