ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
