This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
