but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Green mimosas i think yes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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