Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
