You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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