yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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