We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
