i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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